Lucky. Blessed. And ever so grateful.
Today we took our little family to the MOA to celebrate Cale's 7th birthday. This is our tradition that on their birthday the birthday person may pick whatever they want to do and we all go and have a blast. We did have a blast! We rode rides we never had been on and were having a great time! Time as a family, time as a Mom and Son! See, this year I am not pregnant and got to ride the rides with my boy.
Oh my boy. My boy, my boy, my boy.
I write this with tears in my eyes, so grateful things turned out the way they did. See, in the quick second it took for you to slip coming off the log chute everything became crystal clear. You fell and I could not catch you. Your sweet little man/boy arm got caught between the edge of the canal and that giant, heavy log boat. Watching you slowly get dragged along with your arm stuck and you screaming, me screaming......
I never realized how many thoughts a person can have in a short moment. Watching and thinking your arm was being severed. Wondering how we were going to get you to the hospital, were you going to keep your arm? How bad is this going to be? Did your dad hear me screaming with all my being? Where is he? Why is this ride not stopping. Please stop. Please quit hurting my little man. Please don't drag him further under. Please stop. Please let him be okay. Please let me be the one hurt. Please, oh, please God. Then it stopped.
I pulled myself off you. Gently pulled you out. Clutched you to my chest.
My boy. Oh my boy. What a visceral, crazy love I have for you. I could feel your pain to my inner depths. You were so scared. I was so scared.
By nothing short of a miracle your arm was not torn open. Some scraping. Nasty bruising. Needless to say, I took you in to Orthopedics Urgent care. I love those people. Thank you for opening the clinic next to my hospital. I forgive you for disrupting the traffic flow during construction.
My boy. I love you so. I love you so, so much. Tonight I was given just a glimpse of how deep and visceral and incredible this love is. I have always loved you to death. You are my boy. After this close call I am so very grateful for experiencing how powerful my love is for you. Thank you Lord. Thank you for all I have. Thank you for my boy. And thank you, that was enough of that feeling for a lifetime. I will never complain if I never feel that deeply the depth of my love for this amazing child. Please keep him safe in his journey.
I love you my boy, my buddy.
